It has been over two months since last post. Without a schedule, I still finished my dissertation as well as the poster presentation. Well, I guess the overall rating of my research should be acceptable, but I couldn’t expect more since I know exactly the contribution is quite limited.
Nevertheless, compared with the dissertation stuff, there is something more vital and more influential to my future. In the original plan, I was persuaded by the comeback magical phantom of quantum information to stay at Bristol to pursue my dreaming PhD degree. However, things change fast and usually not in the way you expected. I could condense it into one official sentence: “Due to unforeseen circumstances,….blablabla…”. The original placement has been occupied by a more talented local student so that the only option for me is to devote into another project, which is far different from what I’ve learned and what I am interested in. Though I cannot blame on anyone that I am not as outstanding as others and the option should also be feasible regarding to its potentiality, it would still be risky to cast yourself into an unknown field. I have to admit that I have never been an adventurous guy who is willing to take new challenges and risks, though what I’ve done during my postgraduate in Taiwan cannot be ‘adventurous’ any more.
Therefore, after repeatedly reconsideration and evaluation, eventually I decided to quit. Once I had a dream of studying PhD, but now I have been awaken and I have to retreat. It’s never been easy either to keep your pace in studying while most of your classmates have been making their own living, or to determine to stop and quit while the glory of higher qualifications remains. I have been always confused, anxious, and hesitating during these days. Even though I have no idea whether I will be regretful some day, I do feel released and happy that I’ve finally chosen a clear way and don’t have to be suffering from the ambiguity that hangs over me and tortures me. Thank Jennifer and William for their warm company that comforted me and rescued me during this tough time.
Sometimes only let go can you move forward.
Bon Voyage!
Someone said ” not your decision itself will make you regret, but what you are going to do after you make a decision determines whether you will regret or not.”